Finding the beauty in YOUR process!

When Notukela approached me and asked me to be a guest writer for her blog and write whatever was on my heart I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to get home and put pen to paper

But here I am, on the edge of my bed… I am blank, the smart idioms, articulate sentence structure and ideas I had have seemingly vanished and I am left without a ‘profound’ message to share except the utterance and the whispers of my heart, just the truth that is mine…

I’ve realised after a very long battle that I have been fighting the wrong battle, I have been fighting my own process. As hard and painful as labour is, a woman never fights to keep the baby in her womb during delivery, neither does a caterpillar fight the process breaking out and becoming a beautiful butterfly to stay in it’s cocoon. So why did I fight my process? Because I didn’t realise what it was giving birth to, I failed to see the beauty in my pain and strife. Don’t neglect to see the beauty that will come out of your process.

This may be a difficult pill to swallow. I mean, how do you love your process if you had a sick and alcoholic mother, how do you love it if your father walked out and you had a low self – esteem. What is there to love? You may ask. I love it because it is not the end,  I love it because it is transporting me to a better ‘me’ , because it is MY testimony and story to tell and most of all, I love it because it is MINE and when God is finished with me, I will shine. 

A lot of times we question God and ask him why all the bad things had to happen to us, why we had to suffer the loss of a loved one, why God allowed us to be a victim of pain, abuse and heartache. A lot of us have a past we’d like to forget, things we wish had never happened and mistakes we’ve made – let me tell you, they’re all a part of your process and they are building you to become a better person.

There is something strangely beautiful about each and every one’s journey, if we look carefully, the process of being molded, being refined through the flames of life and being shaped by the hardships and storms we’ve faced. Though painful, there is an unspeakable and pure beauty in it as it allows you to enter into the secret place, into Gods tabernacle, where the broken are healed and made whole, a place of intimacy with God.

It is in my process where I have felt the love of my Father, where I have had the realest me accepted, when I was shattered, wounded, I was carried to the table, swept away by my Fathers love, I was carried to where I don’t belong. A place where I didn’t have to be cute, where I could cry out bitterly like Hezekiah did to the Lord. A place where each tear I cried had significance. God caught and kept each tear, they never fell into a shallow place.

Each tear you’ve cried in the process of your journey has watered the garden of your destiny and it will bloom. Never despise the tears you’ve cried and never look down on your process. His eye is on the sparrow and he watches over you. 

Love, always
Odwa Sonti

Twitter: @OH_Sonti

(Guest author)

Converse to inspire

I’ve been thinking about a wrist watch I was given together with a poem called Refrain by an old lady who used to visit my mom’s office – I used to call her “granny”. So I went to our store room to see if I can’t find my Refrain anywhere but with no luck. 

It was on a Friday afternoon in 2004 when she came to my mom’s office with a gift wrapped up in pink paper and with an A4 laminated page and in it was her poem to me – Refrain.  She walked in the office and was excited to see me there and said to me “I have something for you”. She sat me down and said: “I love both you and your mother as my own. So I thought I should buy you this watch.” 

Astounded me sat there and couldn’t stop smiling. She gave me a box wrapped in pink paper and said: “open it”. I opened the box to find a beautiful gold watch. I just couldn’t stop smiling. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as she said “I also have a poem for you and I will read it out loud so everyone would hear.”  She started reading and the words that stood out and were engraved in my heart that moment were: “never lose yourself by trying to be someone you’re not.” It is that day that I embraced being me – a woman.

Refrain has been the cornerstone in my life. It has helped forbear from many things that could have been the end of me. I am the woman I am today because of that poem that was given to me nine years ago. I am a woman of honour and trust. I am hardworking, uniquely different, smart individual who’s passionate about inspiring young girls to become women of great calibre no matter what their circumstance.

In this month dedicated to celebrating women, I challenge all women to have at least five young girls to inspire and be there when they need someone to talk to. I engage quite frequently with young girls who just need to vent about what’s happening in their lives. All they need to hear is: find something to keep you motivated and you will be okay.

 

So for every girl you will be talking to this month, remember India Arie’s Talk to Her lyrics:

Now when you go to her
Speak truthfully
Honest as you can be, from your heart
You're in a situation
But you're losing patience
Take your time and look her in the eyes
When you just can't find the words you want
And it's hard to reach a point
Where you both can understand
Don't just tell the truth
But tell the whole truth
It'll make a better man out of you

Come on hardworking ladies, talk to a young girl and save a life – your task for women’s month.

Much love!