Monday, 28 October 2013

When they are not looking



Lately I’ve been thinking about the impact society has in our lives. We act, make decisions based on how society will perceive us. Sometimes this is a good thing; sometimes it just is not good – at all. 

I remember growing up I had two lives – at home I was someone else and outside my house I was a totally different person.

When I was not home I would get so rebellious because I wanted to be cool and fit in, but how was I being cool if I wasn’t myself? Acting to be someone I was not became a full time job – and a pretty exhausting one.

When I was in the public eye I’d pretend like I ran the show – talk about parties and clubs when I actually wasn’t even going to any – at all. This is because I did not want to be left out in conversations. In the mist of it all, I became who I was not. 


But who was I really when society was not looking – a shy young girl who had big dreams. I was my family’s treasure, my grandmother’s beautiful flower, a song writer, an actress, a person whom talkative was what defined me best.  

I have learned that every one of us is like a rough diamond waiting to be polished in order to shine bright.
Sometimes our circumstances seem like they don’t allow us to be what we want to be. Boys from the Cape flats cannot explore their full potential because if they are not in gangs then gangs want to take them out. Girls date older man to easily get necessities. 

We now have a role to play. A role of sharing stories of people who come from our neighbourhoods and have made it passed the circumstances – to say that achieving your goals is possible.

Let’s start a culture of young people that won’t be embarrassed or scared to portray who they are. Success comes in different forms, levels and ways. 

I know young girls and boys that do not want to talk about their dreams to their peers because they do not want to be mocked.  That ambitious person you are when alone in your room let that person be known and embraced. Those great fantasies you have in your room that can change the world need to be made known.
Do not be brought down by society’s negativity. You might be one of the scientists to find cure for HIV/AIDS, you might be South Africa’s first female president, and you might be the person who finds solutions to the violence in our communities. 

We have people from our communities that have gone through their fair share of challenges but they rose above them and took ownership of their lives. 


Our community, our country is waiting and relying on your great idea to develop South Africa. Always be that great person that you are even when they (society) are looking, don’t shy away – you might just change lives.

To all grade 12 learners commencing with the final examination today, opportunities are immeasurable – be able to identify them and exploit them. BEST OF LUCK!

 *Picture courtesy of amazingasset.com

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Decide your destiny today



Have you ever thought you know what’s best to decide for yourself but can’t really make the decision because of some contributing factors? Well I know how that feels. 

Lately I have abandoned my responsibility of frequently sharing some of my experiences on this platform because of indecisiveness. There is a lot of things I would like to do and there is one thing I would love to quit (but that’s a story for another day).

Most situations we find ourselves in are because we did not make a decision and matters led us straight to accepting being in the situation.
While I was in high school, my only dream was to become a lawyer but I did not make the decision of applying.  After matric I was forced to go to Cape Town – this was however the best decision made for me. Cape Town has been nothing but great to me – thanks to my family for forcing me to go to Cape Town.  

But what about those decisions which are taken for you and never work for you? A man ranked 3rd in the world at the English Speaking Union International Competition, Vusi Thembekwayo once said in one of his talks “never take advice from loved ones.” He elaborated and said when growing up you see a hot stove and you have the urge to touch it, but your mama will tell you not to or you will burn yourself. “Want to touch it? Hell yes. Will it hurt? Damn sure it will,” said Thembekwayo. He said, however, the satisfaction of being on the other side will be worth it, because then you will know how it feels.

Often when we make the decision of doing things we really love we seek for advice from loved ones and whether we like it or not, they will sometimes advise us not to because they don’t want to see us hurt. How do you then forgive yourself ten years down the line when you regret not making your own decision and letting other people tell you what to do? There is no guarantee that our decisions will always be the best decisions ever but knowing that you attempted will be satisfactory enough.

What I’m trying to say is get yourself out of that box of feeling trapped when you need to decide on something.

I have made the decision of starting an NGO to empower young girls from the disadvantaged areas. I have made the decision of co-founding a communications company and do what I love most – events and public relations. I have made the decision of working hard today so my children can be born to a better life. I have made the decision of accepting that I am driven, talented, passionate and obsessed with making my and other people lives better. I have made the decision of being a recognised responsible woman within society. I have made the decision of finally being myself and that came with sacrifices. 

Most importantly, I’ve made the decision of identifying which dreams, from my many dreams, to pursue right now – oh boy, Am I glad to say it feels so good.

As many young girls will be writing the final exams soon, make the decision of passing – that will be your stepping stone. Believe you me it feels GOOd when you do GOOD and people recognise your efforts. Be good at what you do and people will take you seriously.

What is the ONE decision that you will make after reading this post? But remember, GIVING UP is not in the decisions package! So make the decision of being smart today, because being smart is beautiful.