You are beautiful – believe it!

Are you beautiful? What is being beautiful? Do you see beauty in yourself or other people? I think when being asked these questions I’d say yes to all of them.

I have engaged in conversations with young women who don’t think they are beautiful and always asked myself why they would think like that. How true is the statement “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”?

Quite frankly, I’m not even sure what the statement means. Maybe it means that beauty is determined by the eyes of the person who is looking. Then if that is the case, we should all say we are beautiful because we like what we see in the mirror. But I’ve lived to realise that is not the case.

I’m one of the people who grew up with serious beauty issues – I just was never satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. I guess maybe I was lacking self-confidence. I think, had I been free from doubt I would’ve have long realised just how beautiful I am.

I think we are all beautiful because we are different and unique – what you see in me you might not see in someone else. The biggest problem that makes people succumb to peer pressure is because we want to look alike and we think being different is wrong – when it’s not.

I remember how I hated my forehead, my lower lip and my big eyes – and this caused issues. I had no self-confidence at all. Because I wanted to stand out from the crowd at high school, Maria Louw High School, I used to be so mean to the other pupils.

There was a girl by the name of Andisiwe that I envied so much. She was just beautiful – she rocked every hair style she had. Yho! I always thought there was just no topping her beauty.

But I realised that my problems with myself were never going to go away because how I was is how I was created and meant to look like. So I had to find a way to deal with me. I needed to find a remedy for myself.

I looked up the definition of beautiful. It said:

 beau·ti·ful

 Adjective

1.       Pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.

2.       Of a very high standard; excellent.

Yho! It is that day that I realised just how beautiful I am. I pleased my eyes when I looked in the mirror. I pleased my ears when I uttered my beautiful voice. Most importantly I pleased my confidence, because then I knew my strengths and my weaknesses. I can now even pout freely.

I’ve also learnt that our achievements also boost up our confidence – big or small.

I recently watched the Dove Real Beauty Sketch advert and it really touched my heart – how women described themselves so ugly. It brought to my attention the need of motivating young girls to always believe in themselves.

To all the young girls that indulge in my work. I’d love to tell you right now that you are beautiful. The smile you possess makes the world a place filled with love. Treasure yourself and people will treat you like royalty – because you are.

Smile now, you’re beautiful!

I sure feel like a Gemini

Hello my good friends. You must have thought I’ve abandoned you but that’s not the case – I just wasn’t really sure what to share with you. In the past few weeks, so much has happened that has caused emotional traffic jam.

Last weekend I was home in Queenstown, Eastern Cape. This was not a social call; I went down for the funeral of my sister, friend and life coach – who had finally given in to a long fight with cancer.

I was excited about the beginning of my birth month and already thinking of ways I was going to enjoy it – then death became proud.

Death became proud, because to it, was the in-take of another beautiful soul. After all, who’s not proud of their own achievement? But I’d like to say that death sure knows how to “pick em”. It goes after the best and only the best.

Yesterday when I woke up to the sad news of the passing of Vuyo Mbuli, I must say, I was devastated. I became very scared of death. Mbuli’s death reminded me of Friday 3 May 2013 when my sister-in-law Khanyo passed on. I really couldn’t make sense of what was happening.

People were crying and I just couldn’t picture her no more. I went to my room to cry for a couple of minutes, composed myself and went back to the living room to comfort my family – I was being strong for my brother.

You know often when people talk they would say “Christians should not be afraid of death”. I’m a Christian and I’m scared as hell of death. Maybe I still have a lot to learn about death, but right now it has got me in a confused state of mind – and heart.

I now sure feel like a Gemini – with two personalities. I walk around with a smile and always looking like I’m on top of the world when actually, emotionally, I’m scarred by death. One minute I understand that maybe Khanyo’s time on earth was up and one minute I get angry at why she had to die at such a young age.

But through all this emotional confusion, one thing I am sure about is declaring this month (May) as the “Heroes Month”. Now I will no longer only celebrate May as my birth month but I will also commemorate the fallen heroes – Khanyo Mzilikazi, Steve Khululekile (regional leader of the Association of Mineworkers and Construction Union) Vuyo Mbuli and others that were heroes in their own right.

But death, remember the words of John Donne, the writer of the poem Death Be Not Proud:

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Oh and…. thanks to Nicklaus for reminding me about the whole point of my blog – life experiences, good or bad.