I've been feeling a bit down and vulnerable lately and
not really sure why. I guess I was just overwhelmed by life and didn't really
know what to do until the past two weekends.
I recently had to go on a trip to Pretoria – to a baby
shower. I was not looking forward to going at all. I made up all sorts of
excuses why I couldn't go but the person I was meant to go with didn't want to
take any excuse whatsoever. So I decided I’ll go.
On the day of departure I felt so nervous, weak and couldn't stop shaking – became scared there for a second. I did not understand what was
happening with my body. Anyway, I eventually left and when I got to Pretoria I
told myself I've arrived and I need to make the most of that weekend. My friend
picked me up from the airport and we went to have supper then it was home time.
When we got to her flat we caught up on some news and had
a great laugh. Bed time came, when I went to her bedroom I found her bible wide
open and just sitting there next to the bed side lamp. She said “before you go
to bed, let’s quickly say a prayer.” I was a bit disturbed that she reminded me
of something I used to do before sleeping and now I just don’t. We prayed then went to bed and throughout
that weekend she was telling me how wonderful the Lord has been to her.
As I listened, I sat there bothered thinking I used to be
that person who acknowledged the Lord’s work. The day of the baby shower
arrived and we had a great time. Friends had to give advice on being a mother
and what they all had in common was the fact that they kept saying to my friend
“put the Lord first and motherhood will be a beautiful and enjoyed journey.”
On Sunday I came back to Cape Town. Now in the past
weekend I attended the Passover in Worcester. Oh boy did it go down! Saturday’s
youth programme had a huge impact in my life. I was helping the Western Cape
Youth President with activities. I had to talk about “peer pressure” and “self-esteem”
to try and understand the behaviours of young people in the church. Then we
divided the congregation into two groups and gave them one topic to discuss. The
question was as follows: How should a Christian behave? When answering they had
to reference the Bible and reality. The groups reported back and it was time
for me and the President to conclude.
The President posed a question to me and the congregation
– are you saved? My answer was yes, immediately. When my time for concluding
came I touched base on two things – being saved and how should a Christian
behave.
I said I am saved because I believe there is a God who
sent his son to die for our sins and I said as Christians we have our guideline
book that says we should at least behave in a certain manner but reality forces
us to behave differently.
A professor by the name of Brian O’Connell once said in
his speech “We need to learn to adapt to change in order to survive.” He used
an example of his religion saying: “I’m Catholic and it has been said there
should be no sexual engagement until one is married. But people are sexually
engaged before marriage and religion is against the introduction of condoms
because people should not be sexually engaged.” He said but there are sexually
transmitted infections (STI) that condoms might prevent a person from getting.
Because some people will not use condoms because religion says they shouldn't
the number of people dying from STIs increases. People are obeying religion,
culture etc but reality forces them to do otherwise.
I personally think we need to find a balance in life. Life
is a journey. In this journey we go through different roads – some bad, some
good. Still, we embrace life. Why? because we have to find a balance between good
and bad. We often want to be happy in life and don’t understand that with happiness
comes sadness. With darkness comes light, with fear comes bravery, with hatred
comes love. I could go on and on to show you that it was written that these
things would pair, like husband and wife. So when you happy, thank God. When
sad, cry and thank GOD and heal wit time. Healing takes time – so give time,
time.
Morale of this story is that we often forget where we
find our strength – our source of life. We get caught up in the negative things
that take all our strength and forget to refill or recharge our strength.
I get my strength from the Lord. Now, the past two
weekends have helped me find myself and reminded me I need to take some time
out every-now-and-then to feed my spirit so I can be physically, emotionally,
mentally and spiritually ready for any challenge.
What is your source of life, where do you draw your strength
from? I hope I got you thinking and if you were a bit confused like me, take
time out and figure out the things that save you from a dark place.
*Hope I've touched your heart*
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